Saturday, July 7, 2007

we're getting hitched

Yes it's true. Anna and I are making it official. We had just had our five year anniversary so i figured it was time to piss or get off the pot. I recently got down on my knees (both of them because I really like her) and asked the lovely miss anna to marry me. She said yes and we drank champagne.

Then we went and met a couple friends for a cocktail and to show of our newly engaged selves. At the conclusion of the evening, Jean's drunken flailing arms and legs accidentally knocked a vase out of a window onto a crack whore down on the sidewalk who threatened to kick her ass. Stephanie, the diplomatic dago dragged her drunken ass downstairs to apologize and try to explain that it was an accident. The woman than slapped her accross the face. The ever elequent jeaner then came down and also tried to explain only to also be slaped. I then restrained her because as she lept at the woman. Then the crack whore said "what, you're going to bring down some dyke to do your dirty work" at which point anna screamed from the window "don't call my fiancé a dyke" and threatened to call the cops. Then the crack whore called anna a fat bitch so I started storming towards her and our other friend stepped in front of me and tried to calm the situation. The cops drove by, Anna and i went home. You know, just a really special, romantic night.

The end.

Thursday, March 29, 2007


i watched a documentary on a lesbian couple, both of whom are professional boxers. it made me miss it. it made me miss the bravado of being a defiant woman--a woman who will kick your ass, a woman who can stand up to any man, but even as i write these words i see myself writing a woman who isn't really a woman. it's not that i ever outright loathed my body, nor that i wasn't proud to be a part of a tradition of strong butch women, i just couldn't connect this history, tradition, body to my self.

still, i think how i want to take up boxing--lesbian boxing. then i remember i can't. i wanted to try out for a women's football team. i can't do that either. i'm now "just" a man. i never wanted to be normal, straight seems so boring, but pushing past the possibilities of gender has pulled me squarely into a new set of expectations where to feel subversive i have to take up knitting and cross stitching.

i still miss being a dyke, even though i'm not sure i ever was one.